Co-Habitation:: When there is no place to call a home

If you were in a similar situation as mine, then you were happily "living in sin" with your significant other. I know that couples living together these days is much more popular and common than our parent's era, and rightfully so. When you spend so much time with someone, it seems silly to pay 2 rents. Its also a great way to really get to know someone, and decide whether this relationship is something that you really want for the rest of your life. I read an article once that said living with someone before marriage increases your chances of divorce (if you go down the marriage route). I am sure this is true to a certain extent, and I may do my next relationship differently, but I did enjoy the experience of living with my ex.

N purchased a house back in October of 2007, and it was a foreclosure. He and I spent 2+ years remodeling the house together. While I put some money into the place, we had agreed that I would furnish the house, and he would pay for the expenses of fixing the house up. In the long run, this was a VERY wise decision. I am extremely thankful now that we had talked about this, even though at the time, I thought it was silly to divide up the expenses. It was a "pre-nup" of sorts, and I HIGHLY suggest that you discusses various options with your future room mate in regards to finances. Not the most romantic thing, but it sure saved my ass in the end.

When N and I ended the relationship, it was obvious that I was the one that had to move out. The title of the house was in his name alone (also a wise decision), however almost ALL the furniture was mine. As I mentioned - our relationship ended because things were not working out, and therefore their was not as much anger as a violent end (although believe me - the anger is there, it just comes a bit later). Therefore, I had to get out. Being the list person I am, I prioritized my options, and created a check list of things to do. It's easier to get through the motions when you have an end goal in mind.

• Find a place to live - FAST. Sign lease, get keys and get move in date
• Pack up all items that are RIGHTFULLY yours.
• Hire movers
• Get the FUCK OUT!

Finding a Place to Live
I absolutely understand your desperation and need to get the hell out of your current situation, however you need to like your new place. Do NOT settle on the first thing that comes your way, and be sure you are comfortable in your new living environment. As a female, I was looking for a place near friends that was in a safe and reliable neighborhood. Oh, and I needed rent to be as low as possible. Oh, and can you accommodate for a dog? (Dog will be another post). So, as you can see, I had a lot of criteria to fill. However, I was able to find a place, sign a lease, and move in 8 days. Do be aware that I called over 35 different apartment complexes, looked at about a dozen, and found my place. All in 2 days.

• Craig's List: Get on Craig's List ASAP. Look through different listings. Email people. I went with the pity route and told potential landlords that I was in a sticky situation, as my boyfriend and I broke up, and I had to find a place to live as in yesterday. Most of the listings on Craig's List are owners looking for renters fairly immediately. This is how I found my fabulous apartment.
• Rent.com: While on Craig's list, also sign up for Rent.com. Normally the places listed have immediate availability, and Rent.com will even give you $100 to move in if you use them to find the properties. There are other web sites available like this, so just google them. Once you find a property you like, CALL IMMEDIATELY. Get an appointment to walk through the place. Or, just find out their leasing hours, and just show up.
• Drive/Walk: Go to the neighborhood you would like to live in. Walk around. Call the "For Rent" signs. Buzz the manager on duty. Be an obnoxious solicitor, however do realize that the difference between you and the sleazy door-to-door sales man is that you are trying to GIVE these people money.

Just be relentless. In this economy, renting is a bit more difficult, but if you are persistent, you WILL find a place. If you cannot find a place in a quick amount of time, I suggest talking to your ex, and discussing a temporary living situation. If you are the one that has to move out, make them go to a friends/family members place for a bit. DO NOT DISPLACE yourself if you are the one having to move. This is the least they can do for you, and HOLD YOUR GROUND.

Pack Your Items:
Once we determined that we were done, I called my parents. My dad said one thing to me, and I now say the same thing to you: "Take every fucking thing that is yours." If you paid for it, it is coming with you. Get those shelves off the walls, the curtain rods, the paintings, the dishes, etc. And that is exactly what I did. When I moved out of the house, I left N 2 couches, a queen sized bed, a coffee maker, some knives, and wine glasses. I took everything else that was mine.

Some couples will divide higher cost items (for instance, a couch or a TV). If this is the case, you need to talk to them about dividing the items. THIS SUCKS MAJOR BALLS people! Trust in the fact that it's awful to try and divide assets without lawyers present. If you want to take something larger that you paid half of, you need to recoup the costs to your ex. It's only right, and it's only fair. Also, if you do this, be SURE to grab a notary and have him sign off on a "receipt" of sorts. Just cover your ass. I know it sounds crazy, but you do not want to be tied up in small claims court over a stupid couch or a useless TV. If you have EVER watched Judge Judy, you know that this may be a possibility. If material items are not worth the fight to you, then just let it go. Be sure to do this in a rash and calm state, as you may say "fuck it" to an item, and only realize that you really want it months later. And, you will never get it back. Trust.

Now, trying to pack up everything along with being bitter, jaded, depressed, and a bit drunk the whole week (again, vodka), my friend came to my rescue. They showed up all week long, and while I drank, they packed. All I had to do was point at items and say "Mine" or "Not Mine". Frankly, I am still not sure how I got everything out, however I know that my friends did it for me, and I did not have to worry about a thing.

Hire Movers
While all of the above seems like it may take a long time, I am reminding you that I got out of my house in 8 days. That's all the time I needed. After 2+ years of co-habitation, I got out in 8 days. This would have NEVER happened if I did not have 3 things available to me

• Kick Ass Friends and Family
• A GREAT moving company
• An emergency fund

Movers are ESSENTIAL if you have large ticket items. Realize that your friends and family have essentially packed your entire life for you. You can only ask so much of them, and they will be willing to help you move, but only if it's one trip, and one carload of stuff. Remember, moving sucks. So, hire movers to get the big ticket items. You will be thankful in the end that you spent the money on someone else taking this (literally) heavy burden away from you. Google movers in your area and read reviews. Call and get quotes. Then BOOK the least expensive and most reliable people.

Between movers, the items you have to leave behind, and a deposit for a new place, an emergency fund was essential. I was very thankful to have money available to me quickly. Regardless, you should have a savings account, however if you don't - start stockpiling. You never know when that extra cash is going to come in handy.

Get the FUCK OUT

That it. Get the hell outta Dodge and don't look back. It hurts too much to look back.