Living Alone:: The Repercussions You Never Knew Existed

Ok, you found your place, you live alone (or with fur child), and have created a royal mess of what used to be a decent apartment. Some recent ruminations that I have discovered since living alone:

• You talk to yourself. A lot. And you talk to your dog/cat/fish/hamster. A lot. I have now found myself talking to myself in public places. Besides looking like a total schizo, and a person with severe mental problems and/or several imaginary friends, I have found that people do not react well to crazies mumbling to themselves. Note to self - will not attract opposite sex
• You start making noises that your 5 year old self used to find amusing. And you make up songs. And sing them to your dog. While dancing in your apartment with your work shirt on and sweatpants.
• Doing the dishes goes from a "must" to a "maybe later, or at least after this game of Mario Kart".
• That bottle of wine you used to share with someone? Well, you stopped sharing, and will finish said bottle of wine on your own. On a Tuesday evening. And are drunk. On a Tuesday evening. By yourself. In sweatpants and a work shirt, singing to your dog.
• Normal dietary options go out the window. Popcorn and wine for dinner - sure! Leftover turkey and ramen, sounds delicious! Mac & Cheese for breakfast? More like BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS!
• Hoarding occurs. All that SPACE in your OWN APARTMENT! To fill up with crap! Awesome.
• No one is there to regulate on you after a particularly fun evening, and therefore no one is telling you to go to bed. So, you wake up at 4 am with your apartment filled with smoke from the pizza you HAD TO HAVE at 2 am, and your facebook status is updated to something that is not quite coherent.
• You have worn the same sweatpants for 2 weeks in a row, and have not cleaned them.

And sometimes I wonder why I am single...

Meeting New People:: Your future ex is just around the corner!

"Luck is directly correlated to the amount of people you know"

My good family friend told me this one day, and it is a motto I live by. This has stood true for me in my career (the last 3 "big girl" jobs I have had in my career have been through recommendations of people I know), and I am hoping it will come through for me with love.

First off, THIS IS NOT NETWORKING. Alright, it's a bit like networking, but that word has become a negative term in the 21st century. What a chore to have to network! Let's think of it as more a casual encounter with people you are interested in knowing. By taking a look at your different social circles, we can assess where in your life meeting your "future ex" will be the most likely. This post is not about blind dates, bar meet-ups, or online dating. Rather, it is about expanding your current social circle to meet all kinds of people.

FRIENDS

This is most likely your first "go-to" when looking to meet new people. While you may be comfortable in your tight knit group, I would suggest looking elsewhere. You never know who will be willing to introduce you their brother/friend/ex. One woman's trash is another woman's treasure. So, find those friends you have not seen in a while. Call them. Connect with them. Say YES to every invite you get - from that random house party, to happy hour, to the set up. Realize that you are not going to meet your "future ex" by sitting on the couch with your dog. And yes, I am including you surfing on Match.com. (Online dating is for another post). Get yourself out there. And, hey, look, you may even have some fun doing it!

FAMILY

I am fortunate enough to live in the same city as my sister. She and I are very close, however we run with different crowds. She is also single, and is continually is meeting various guys through her social circle. While they may not be HER particular cup of tea, she does realize that they could be mine. And, if she thinks they are great, then I am sure that I will think they are great. This is all about pre-qualified leads.

How many times has your mom nagged you about the person she wants to set you up with? Well, just say yes already! You might as well go on that date. Your mom has nothing but your best intentions in mind, and you might as well humor her. Oh, and if the date goes horribly wrong, you have ammunition to guilt her over the next several years. Heck, Kim Kardashian let her mom set her up. And she is trusting a woman with a bowl cut to get her love life in order. So, why shouldn't you?

CO WORKERS/WORK FRIENDS

How did I met my ex who inspired this blog? By a kiwanis group I was a part of. Yes, my "networking" group for work led me into a 4 year relationship. Believe me, I was VERY skeptical at first. They were very excited about setting me up, and all I could think is that these people did not know me at all. But, I let it happen, and ended up being very happy (well, until the break up). You may think that these people have NO CLUE on your tastes or preferences, however you will be pleasantly surprised. So, if they say "I have someone who would be PERFECT for you", just go with it. Again, if it goes wrong, you at least will get free coffee for the rest of the week from your guilt-ridden co worker.

Oh, and that cute co-worker who has caught your eye? The one 2 down from your cubicle. I have one word for you: DON'T. Do not date co-workers. Just like you do not shit where you eat. It is a bad idea. I don't care how cute they are. You know how MISERABLE that will be when it goes downhill? Think you can be the exception to the rule? Well, you are probably wrong. I know ONE relationship that has worked between co-workers. And I know a LOT of people. According to facebook, I have 862 friends. So, trust that the odds of you being 1 out of 862 is slim to none. Go try your luck on the lottery ticket, and move on.

Before you dive into the world of online dating (and there is NOTHING wrong with online dating), give the real world a try. Your social skills will increase, and you will be able to try new and fun experiences. Sure beats the couch surfing you have been doing.