Facebook:: To Defriend or To Not Defriend - That is the Question

Ok, you have now successfully done the two hardest things on Facebook - Status Change and Photo Eradication. Here comes the last part on Facebook. Do you defriend or do you not defriend?

The double edge sword of this dilemma lies in your mutual friends. If you had an awful break up (cheating, lying, abuse, etc.), I would suggest defriending your ex, and ANY mutual friends you may have. A mutual friend will be someone that you only hung out with because your ex was friends with them. If you have created a great bond with some people you have met through your ex, by all means, keep them on the friend list. But trust me - it's is easier in the long run for your anger and sanity to not be friends with all of their friends. This also goes for family members.

I had a fairly sane break up, and my ex and I ended because things just weren't simply working out. Therefore, we have remained friends on Facebook, along with our mutual friends. HOWEVER, I have restricted him on access to my profile (along with his family). He is under my "Work" list. (Oh, and if you are a professional, I HIGHLY suggest you have a "Work" list regardless. No one in your office needs to see all your wall posts or photos). Doing a "list" is easier than individually extracting them from your Facebook, as you can add others to the list, and it will automatically default to the list settings.

To Create a "Work List" or an "Ex List", use the instructions below:
(Valid as of September 13th, 2010)

• Login to Facebook
• Go to Account - Edit Friends
• Click on "Create New List" on the top of the page
• Once the pop up box comes up, name your list
• Select your Ex (and whatever mutual friends you may like to have on this list as well)
• Click on "Create List"

Once your list is created, you are now going to have to do some extensive editing. So, be sure to follow the below instructions, or else this list will not work.

• Go to Account - Privacy Settings
• Click "Customize Settings"
• Go through EVERYTHING you would like to restrict your ex to. Under the "Things I Share" (and this includes photo albums) "Things Other Share" and "Contact Information".
• Under the drop down lists, click on "Customize" and you can see the "Hide This From" option. If you start typing your list name, it will pull that list up, and you will be able to save the changes.

Don't forget to remove your ex's status updates from your newsfeed if you decide to keep them on as a friend. You don't need their face popping up everytime you login to Facebook.

• Go to your Home page.
• Scroll down to the bottom of your News Feed
• Click on "Edit Options"
• Type in your Ex's name, and any mutual friends you may not want to see their updates

Do note that you cannot do a friend list under these options - this one is all individual.

This is really the last thing you need to do on Facebook to wash your digital hands free of a relationship. Its hard, it sucks, but once you accomplish this, you will feel much better. I promise you!